Power to Change Fear & a Blog is Born

Got fear? OK so I admit it, while I’ve been described as a confident, strong & successful woman I’ve also joined the secret society Fearful Humans. In fact, somewhere along the way I may have been elected their leader. Some people have a fear of failure, or snakes or commitment and then there is me. We are all surprised at the things that find me fearless and those that leave me in an anxious tizzy….. like getting lost, certain bugs and that seemingly sweet little old lady down the street.

Speaking of bugs, a little cockroach can send me leaping out if my skin at warp speeds. That tiny winged insect (for which I am surely 800X its size) can get me to scream so loud it’s more effective than a fog horn & surely more deafening then a gun going off by your head.  Because of this, I’m sure my friends were all secretly taking bets that I wouldn’t walk across the hot coals at the Tony Robbins ‘Unleash the Power Within’ event. As a rule I wouldn’t subject myself (and certainly would never pay) to have anyone inflict pain on me. I find attempts at this sort of gladiator type activity unnecessary & self-damaging. Then again, keep this in perspective head-butting the water while trying to learn to barefoot ski felt a lot like being an abused child who got her head beat against the wall for repeating their multiplication time’s table wrong. I refuse to abuse myself this way.  So by now you have to know the only way I would walk across a bed of hot coals was if my children were in danger on the other side or some other equally motivating leverage.  I simply don’t put my life in that position! Heck, until recently, I was even afraid of trying UBER. The thought of engaging some random person in their own vehicle and trusting them with my life was impossible.  I was certain they were secretly an evil murdering society that would drive off to some secluded area and stab me to death – forcing NCIS to solve the mystery of my missing body (too much TV?) I actually don’t know where some of these fears come from because I won’t even watch a scary movie. But, back to my point…

HIRING A COACH

I read my first Tony Robbins book probably 20 years ago. OK, maybe it’s 30 years ago… Let’s not cloud the issue with facts around my age!  While I have always gotten a lot out of his and other author’s teachings, the idea of attending a cult like pep rally (UPW) was scary.  I have no desire to hug random strangers, smell their sweat all day or scream at the top of my lungs.  So I stuck with books & You Tube videos.

When I reached a plateau (or bottom in some cases) in my professional, physical and/ or mental life and was in need of a change I found myself returning to learn from people who had done it for themselves. After all, when you want to go somewhere or do something you ask the people who have been there or done it successfully to give you guidance.  When I wanted to do my first sprint triathlon, I sought out a swim coach to teach me better technique, When I wanted to reach new heights at the gym I hired a personal trainer. When I wanted to expand my knowledge in particular area I paid the school and had a teacher impart their wisdom. And, when I wanted push past my fears and make another dream come true I hired a coach to help me GPS the way. (Seemed like a better option then psychology although I had tried that before as well.)

The coaching program came with a ticket to a Tony Robbins UPW (Unleash the Power Within) event. Being the frugal, financially efficient girl that I am I had to take advantage of this event – I just swore I would not hug sweaty people & I was fairly certain that ridiculous fire walking gimmick was out of the question….

FEELING HEAT OF A FUTURE WITHOUT GOAL ACHIEVEMENT

So much for swearing…. there I was in front of the coals… It’s “go time” The song “should I stay or should I go” was on a constant loop in my head.  I was certain I wanted the full experience from my investment but wasn’t clear if that included that crazy coal walking gig.  The release I signed was gnawing in the back of my head but I comforted myself with the hope that he would not be able to do this for 30 some years if people’s limbs melted off at each of these events…. Then again there is always that 1% chance of something going terribly wrong. I just couldn’t be that guy… or rather girl.  After I vacillated on the fence of fear & excitement, I made the decision to go for it. I stepped up. Unsure of how I’d feel, scared it would hurt but sure of my goal: reach the other side & be able to say I did it! I visualized my future without this experience and with it…. I refused to be a wimp.

I did walk across the coals. It wasn’t hard. After all, we all know how to walk. I did feel the heat and I did get a tiny blister for a few hours similar to the one I got when I took the trash out (without my shoes on) last summer.  More importantly, I realized this event like some goals will scare the hell out of me and I will feel the heat of getting it done but I can do it! Turns out the Tony Robbins fire-walking gig sets you up for that very mind shift… so you begin to see what IS possible.  You see yourself through different eyes…it enables you to get past the fear and open yourself up to the possibilities & a new standard for yourself… It’s the springboard to your desired transformation & the key to unlock your fear handcuffs.

TRANSFORMATION: THE REFORMED SMOKER

I get that people who have never attended think this is the craziest cult like crap they’ve ever heard. I was one of them. Now I’m like the reformed smoker, or the born again Christian (no offense meant to any one – I’ve been both).  I feel like I did when I got my first ice making refrigerator! Have you ever been so poor that the best refrigerator you could buy was one that required you to make your own ice? You had to put the water in those ice cube making devices, wait for it to freeze and break up the ice when you need a few cubes. You’re not fond of the process but it is what it is. You deal with it. It’s the hand you have. Then, the first time you buy a fridge with an automatic ice maker, you know you can never go back to the manual way. You know that your life will never be the same. You sit in gratitude for your automatic ice maker…. Wishing you had been able to get it sooner. Your standards have been changed. You have stepped up!

So here I am. I have faced a black bear and her 3 baby cubs on a hike without fear but in the past I’ve let little things that can’t hurt me paralyze me and prevent me from making new dreams come true & reaching new goals.  Thing is I now have an ice-maker.  I have a NEW standard for my life.  My handcuffs have been removed. I still recognize fear but I don’t let it steal from me anymore.  I have turned in my resignation in to the secret fear society and joined a different group.…. Its leader is Shiny Courage aka Mama Frat and she started this blog about living well, thriving and optimizing life while living with autoimmune diseases!

 

September 3, 2016

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